Actual Bathroom Cats

Hello, boys and girls! Once again, I cannot sleep, so I thought I'd come back and give you the full story of the bathroom cats for whom this stupid, stupid blog is named.

Mr. Cats works in a gas station. They got a big stack of goofy 3-D pictures in-- things like a majestic stallion prancing in the rain, moonlit wolves howling in profile, and so on. (He tells me they sell out of those faster than they can restock them, by the way!) His discerning eye fell upon this thing-- a sight wondrous to behold-- and he knew we absolutely had to own it. And so he bought it, and my jaw hit the floor. Where, where on earth could we possibly hang this thing? Well, at the time we were living in a charming, delightful old house which had been converted into separate apartments, and as in many such buildings, our apartment had an odd feature or two. One of them was a big window in our bathroom, over looking a staircase. A public staircase. And so the cats went up over the window. When we moved, the only logical place to put them was in the bathroom. And they'll be in every bathroom we have for the rest of time.

Here it is, a sight wondrous to behold:

As you can see, four out of these seven cats want to scratch you to death so they can nibble your face.

Because who doesn't need an Olan Mills style portrait of seven cats with an array of plant life?

(Please excuse the weird angle; I had to hold the camera oddly to avoid glare.) Starting at the bottom left and going clockwise, we have General Fluffykins, Sherbet, Freddie Hart, Freddy Fender, Conway Twitty, Webb Pierce, and Don Gay* (in the middle).  (Is it just me, or does Sherbet look like he knows something you don't know? I think Sherbet is full of sassy secrets.)

As I mentioned above, this thing is 3-D, and they appear to move as you pass them. I wish you could get the full effect! Their eyes follow you. They stare at you while you're doing your business. they watch you dry off as you exit the shower. They hang opposite the mirror, so they gaze serenely over your shoulder while you brush your teeth or trim your nose hair or whatever it is you're doing in my bathroom, you weirdo.

In other news, I'm pretty sure I just found a photo of the guy responsible for the bathroom cats' existence. I am 89% sure this man was the designer who put that gem together, because only a cat- loving man with glasses like manhole covers and a mullet from here to mississippi could come up with something so incredible.

This man speaks to his cat only in Klingon

You know he's a badass, because he's not even afraid of the laser beams the photographer is shooting at him.

*I think that's Don Gay...